Successful Transitions

MANAGING TRANSITIONS FOR KIDS WHO STRUGGLE

(Some of us can “shift” between activities better than others)

v WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLAN AHEAD

Ø Be emotionally prepared.  (What are your buttons?) What are your child’s likes/dislikes?  What helps your child transition between activities? (If he’s playing with hotwheels, can he carry one to the next activity?) Know what buttons the child tries to push to get out of transitioning (hitting, biting, head banging, etc.).  Remain calm and matter of fact.  It might sound like this:

§  You went potty so we need to change your diaper.

§  We need to clean up so we can eat.

§  I know you like that game/activity, but we have to…

Ø Be physically prepared.  Be prepared to follow through.  If you make requests and don’t follow through, kids learn this quickly.  They learn to ignore your requests (unless it’s motivating!) and noncompliance becomes an issue.

v USE ROUTINES

Ø Routines are predictable. Children who struggle with transitions like predictability.  This keeps them more physically regulated throughout the day and reduces “surprises” that result in outbursts or tantrums. 

v GIVE A WARNING (AND BE PREPARED TO FOLLOW THROUGH) This allows the child to prepare for what’s coming.

Ø Verbal prompt:  Tell the child what is going to happen. (In two minutes, we are going to clean up and get ready for…)  Or singing the clean-up song…(an auditory cue that works really well with some kids.)

Visual prompt:  Some children hyperfocus on toys, video screens, etc.) and need to “see” what you are saying as well as hear it.   (Hold up two fingers making sure the child sees them while giving the verbal prompt).  They aren’t trying to ignore you.  They just love what they are doing at the moment and are totally engrossed in it.

Ø Physical prompt:  Be prepared to help your child physically transition if the visual and verbal prompts don’t work, especially when you are introducing these strategies.  It may take some rehearsal.  This may look like:

§  Helping a child put toys away (Showing them how to do it).

§  Physically guiding the child through the process.  (No wrestling matches!)  Be respectful.

v BE CONSISTENT IN YOUR DISCIPLINE:  You are the model! If your behavior is inconsistent, (calm and relaxed one moment, then irritated and yelling the next moment), you can’t expect more from your child.

Try not to think of yourself as the “Enforcer” but as your child’s guide.  Your child will learn how to remain calm during difficult transitions if they see you remain calm.