Toddlers and Turn Taking

Turn taking is a skill that we learn very young and use for a lifetime.  Because of our fast-paced world, some little ones are not learning turn taking skills as early as they should.  A child who understands when it is time to take their turn in a game or activity or to talk, also understands when it is time to let someone else take a turn or time to listen.  Learning to take turns in activities leads to taking turns in conversations and being able to listen to what the conversational partner is saying in order to respond to what is heard rather than add an unrelated message.  Here are some tips for teaching your child turn taking skills.

Infants

• After you play a game with a baby, pause and wait for the baby to take a turn.  He will tell you if he wants to play again or if he is done with "This Little Piggy Goes to Market".  His turn may consist of extending his toes to you as a message to re-start the game.
• When feeding the baby, offer her a morsel on a spoon and talk about how wonderfully delicious it is.  As she gobbles it up, ask, "Want more?  More carrot?"  Her turn will consist of eye contact, looking at the spoon or the food, opening her mouth, or turning away.

Toddlers

• The most powerful secret ingredient for teaching a toddler to pay attention to you is to give them your undivided attention when they are telling you something.  Try hard to respond appropriately and directly to the content of the message.  Our greatest tool for teaching children is example.
• Make deliberate mistakes when enjoying a familiar activity with a toddler.  Even toddlers with limited language skills will enjoy indicating something outside their expectations.
• Give toddlers opportunities to take turns during play time.  Taking turns with objects leads to taking turns with words.  At the same time, the toddler is learning to play with others - another valuable skill.