Parenting

I was listening to the radio yesterday and during the Dave and Dujenevik show on KSL I heard Dave talk about a study on Helicopter parenting.  He said that kids as young as 2 years old who have parents who hover, make all the decisions and fix all the problems grow up to be less able to self-regulate or learn from their mistakes or build lasting relationships.  The push in Utah is to move toward more "free-range parenting".  What happened to the happy medium?

When I was growing up, I knew I had boundaries but I could choose my activities, my friends, and my mistakes within those boundaries.  I knew my parents would be there to guide and support but they would not dictate.  My parents knew where I was and I knew when I heard either of them whistle it was time to go home.  (I could hear that whistle from blocks away - and I always knew when it was my parents).

So what are some strategies to find that happy medium in parenting?  Try some of these ideas:

• Give your child choices.  Let them learn that they can decide.  Start with simple things like what shirt they want to wear, which snack to eat, or what outside activity to do today.  Make sure the choices you give are all acceptable to you and don't overwhelm with too many options.  For a two year old, start with a choice between two items and gradually increase to three or four.  The best way to teach a little one to make good choices is to stand by what they say.  If they choose the green shirt, they wear the green shirt, even if the blue one is their favorite.  Tell them they can choose the blue one tomorrow if they want to.
• Allow your child limited freedom.  Can you keep an eye on them from the kitchen window?  Then let them play in the backyard on their own or with a friend.  Don't provide all the latest and greatest toys for them, let them use their imaginations.  My little grandsons love to throw sticks at the "dinosaurs".  
• Encourage your kids to have a growth mindset.  Teach them that if they make a mistake, they can learn from it, not fail because of it.  They can build on what they have learned to become successful in their endeavors.  Everyone makes mistakes, but those who don't see it as a failure, but as an opportunity to learn are the most successful in life.  Here is a link to a growth mindset resource that has great information for helping your child build a growth mindset:  https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog

Have fun parenting.  It shouldn't be a horrible experience for anyone.  I know it's tough sometimes, but as you give your child some opportunities to make their own choices and their own mistakes, they will grow to be amazing little humans.  Just the way you want them to be.